Monday, March 28, 2011

What has been happening to me...

 What has been happening with me lately.  I haven’t blogged about my story for quite some time now.  I want to say that I have been horribly busy and haven’t had the time for it.  In truth I don’t know what really to talk about.  I feel like every time I sit down to write it turns into a pity me story.  I don’t really want that to happen.  But I know that this is something that I should be writing down so that when I look back I can remember the strength that has been shown.  I know that it is the Lord’s strength giving me the will to carry on with my life.  My friend the other night asked me a good question and I’m going to reply to her here.

How do I go to work each night?
When she asked me that I had no clue how to answer that.  I still don’t know how to answer that question.  I have been working on writing this answer for over an hour now.  I don’t know how I have the will to carry on with my life.  I have three things cheering me on. The simple answer is



  A couple more of like a handful now years ago I read a book about the Atonement.  The book goes into the deep about what happened in Gethsemane.  I decided to read this book because one of my good friends I called her to see if she wanted to hangout and she was crying.  I asked if she was okay she said I’m reading this book and it is just making me realize how much the Savior has really done for us.  I went and bought the book read it.  I love it!  I even sent a copy to my hubby while he was on the mission.  I asked him if he still had the copy he said that he had passed it on.  It truly is a wonderful book.  It sounds like I’m trying to sell a book for someone to read.  I’m not trying to do that.
  I just think that this book has helped me realize that the Savior has really truly felt this pain.  I look towards Him so that He will help me out with the small things of life.  Like getting out of bed, going into work, being a friend when someone needs a friend.
  This horrible trial that I’m going through sucks there is simply no other word for it sucks.  It sucks everything in if you will let it.  This trial could ruin the relationship between husband and wife, it can ruin having a house over your head, it can suck the happiness right out of your life if you let it.             People tell me how much they look up to me because how strong I am.  I’m glad that they can look up to me and I can be an example.  But I just don’t want to take all the credit for it.  It is not me that is strong it is the Savior who has my back.  He has promised me a lifetime plus an eternity with the people I love if I stay strong and do the things which I need to.  The Savior is the one cheering me on.  The Savior is the one giving me the strength to carry on.

    I’m head over heels in love with him.  My heart still aches and so does his.  We have this trial to go through together.  I’m not alone in it and he isn’t alone in it.  I view having to do the small things in life is letting him still see the woman he loves.  I could sit and tell you all the wonderful things he does but than you would be here longer and this is already a long post

    I want her to be proud of her mom and tell Heavenly Father see how much my mommy loves me.  My mommy can tell my story of my life even though it was a short one to the world and show this trial of hers to the world and not be ashamed of me.

I just want to say to anyone who is going through this trial or any other trial that seems unbearable.  It is hard but you have to look for the positive things in your life that you are willing to fight for or your just going to be sucked in like a vacuum to your trial.

Curious about the book I read it is called:
Gethsemane By: Andrew Skinner 

I'm back I will start telling more of my story tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful Post Jessica. Thanks for sharing!