Friday, April 29, 2011


     I just wanted to make a post about what I have been dreaming about for the last couple of days...  One is fairies I believe in them so much.  I remember as a little girl thinking there were fairies in the garden taking care of the flowers.  I believed there was a troll that lived in the canal under a bridge.  I know that it was my great imagination at play but I still do believe in the fairies coming down and sprinkling their dust on the flowers so that they will grow.
    Another reason I wanted to post this post is because I have been dreaming again about the day that I will be a mom again.  I don't know when that will be that is all up to our Heavenly Father to decide when to send down another precious spirit to join our family.  But in my dreaming I have had a good dream that a little girl whenever she might come will have a fairy themed room.  I love the idea of the fairy room because that way we can still have the things we had for our sweet little angel that we will be able to share the love of her older sister with her.  

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Why I write...

I have been posting saying that I will write more of my story.  When I was talking to my hubby about how I don't know what to post about.  In the conversation with my hubby he said you write when you are in pain and this is how you deal with grieving.  I can say that is true whenever something big happens to me I either sleep so that I can't remember the details or I write every little thing that I can think of down.  I prefer the second choice I would rather be able to write and share my memories than just bury them and forget about them.

I have been thinking about what stories I would like to share about my daughter.  I have racked my brain over over and over again but I can't think of anything.  I have shared so many memories about my daughter and our story.  All the other stories I could tell are personal to my hubby and me.

I'm going to be writing more and more about my daily living and how I am starting to live again.  My days have turned into looking for something I can have joy about and not pity me party.  Even though I am having hard times falling asleep and than getting out of bed.  Some days I just think I will stay in bed and not get out.  After a couple of minutes of petting our cat I get out of bed.  I feel like if I stay in bed I'm letting my daughter down I know that she wants me to live and enjoy life.