It has been 5 months since the day our daughter was still born and my heart still mourns for my little girl. My little girl was perfect she was absolutely perfect. I wish sometimes wish that I could still have her to see her beauty develop. But than I remember that this was part of God’s plan and that we will one day see her beauty. My life has been a roller coaster these last months. My brother lost his son. His son was premature by 15 weeks my little nephew put up a good fight but Heavenly Father also wanted him back. (roller coaster) Inside I feel as my daughter was lonely seeing all her cousins down here on earth and was getting lonely so she now has a cousin to play with. I know she was right there waiting for him when he returned.
My daughter influenced my life for the short time that she was here with me. I had a photographer come to the Hospital and take pictures of my daughter and that is what I want to do and offer my service to other families. I just got a DSLR camera and I’m just learning how to use it. It makes my days seem not so boring now. I pull out my camera and go on an adventure to find a great picture to take. My husband is busy with school and I envy him. I wish that I could go to school and have my mind on other things for the couple of hours he is at school. My dream and I hope becomes a reality soon is that I will be able to take an online course of photography. I think if I stayed busy with a photography course online I wouldn’t have as much free time to think about my daughter. Its not because I don’t like thinking about my daughter it just makes my heart hurt. I know in my heart that my daughter would not want me to be sad for her but instead be happy for her. I know that my daughter is up in Heaven with family that loves her and family is telling stories to her about her mom and dad. I know that she is giggling at the stories. I know that she is my little guardian angel and she is always here to comfort me when I need it. So I’m not trying to forget about my little girl but I’m trying to carry on like she would want me to.
Ponder the Message of the Book of Mormon...
5 weeks ago