It has been 5 months since the day our daughter was still born and my heart still mourns for my little girl. My little girl was perfect she was absolutely perfect. I wish sometimes wish that I could still have her to see her beauty develop. But than I remember that this was part of God’s plan and that we will one day see her beauty. My life has been a roller coaster these last months. My brother lost his son. His son was premature by 15 weeks my little nephew put up a good fight but Heavenly Father also wanted him back. (roller coaster) Inside I feel as my daughter was lonely seeing all her cousins down here on earth and was getting lonely so she now has a cousin to play with. I know she was right there waiting for him when he returned.
My daughter influenced my life for the short time that she was here with me. I had a photographer come to the Hospital and take pictures of my daughter and that is what I want to do and offer my service to other families. I just got a DSLR camera and I’m just learning how to use it. It makes my days seem not so boring now. I pull out my camera and go on an adventure to find a great picture to take. My husband is busy with school and I envy him. I wish that I could go to school and have my mind on other things for the couple of hours he is at school. My dream and I hope becomes a reality soon is that I will be able to take an online course of photography. I think if I stayed busy with a photography course online I wouldn’t have as much free time to think about my daughter. Its not because I don’t like thinking about my daughter it just makes my heart hurt. I know in my heart that my daughter would not want me to be sad for her but instead be happy for her. I know that my daughter is up in Heaven with family that loves her and family is telling stories to her about her mom and dad. I know that she is giggling at the stories. I know that she is my little guardian angel and she is always here to comfort me when I need it. So I’m not trying to forget about my little girl but I’m trying to carry on like she would want me to.